Ferijen's musings on life

Must blog about it at some point. I might even be clever and set up a whole new blog about it. Now have a small patch, filled with a lot of compost, ready to go!

Now if it would just hurry up and get to March...

"The Night Watch", Sarah Waters. Missed out on the Booker Prize last year.

VERY good. I enjoyed muchly, and, unlike most booker prizewinners I've read, its a Really Easy Read (as opposed to a moderately interesting read).

I very much recommend it to everyone. In short: the lives of a group of people, interwoven and yet sometimes barely touching, are recounted during the 40s in the Blitz. The really novel bit (which has been harped on at length) is the fact that it works backwards, which has its drawbacks (you don't find out anything more about the future from the frist section, etc.) but the benefits are well worth it too.

I just now want to read more about those characters... that's how good the book is.

(And yes, she's Sarah Waters of "Lesbian Fiction" fame - but although that is a part of the book, don't let that overly entice you/totally put you off/make you bothered if you're the sort of person to get bothered at stuf like that, as it is only one part of an interwoven plot)

Part of my employers efforts to make me more ambitious involve development and sending me on expensive courses. (See, I am That Lucky!) I have on next week forwhich I'm expected to do background reading.

Let's just say I hope the course is better than the reading. I think my ability to pass exams (the course is examined) will end this time next week. The whole thing seems to be management doublespeak. And if there's one thing I'm good at, its being cynical about management rubbish. I mean, I write the stuff.

About ten years ago, I guess, I remember filling in something during what was laughably referred to as our "Personal, Social and Health Education form" about What I Wanted To Do When I Grew Up. I was about 15, and undecided about my future career plans. Still, the little pamphlet advised us of "if you don't know what you want to be when you grow up, think about it for a few minutes".

This advice struck me at the time as ludicrous - but I wrote down "be happy". Not quite the "be a merchant banker/teacher/doctor" the form expected, but still, it suited me.

Anyway, ten years on and I've got a similar lack of ambition (although "being happy" isn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world sometimes). I've got a job which pays decently, has good benefits and at which (despite my best efforts!) I'm fairly decent at. I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up, but as far as the material benefits of working go, I'm doing well. The thing is, I have a complete lack of ambition. I don't care (andI'm not interested) in going for a promotion, really - a sideways move would be fine, but can I be bothered? I'm happy with my little house and have thoughts about being totally suburban with pets and a veggie plot (about more later). I have friends who I love and care for, a family I can deal with, and Mr ferijen who despite my best efforts to drive insane seems to wake up every day and still likes me (amazing, eh?). I'm really so very lucky - and I do, honestly, know it.

So I guess, I've made that aim to "be happy" - sure I have depressive patches, and there are things I'd change, but nothing beyond the realms of coping. But for someone with my "academic" background (let's just say I was gifted at passing exams) and my ability to "do stuff" workwise fairly effortlessly, I feel like I should want to do more. But I don't. Is it wrong to lack ambition? Should I have as an ambition to be ambitious? Or should I just thank my lucky stars that life, so far, is pretty good to me.

(by the way, I'm not entirely unaware of the irony of all this. I just hope that I don't ever have to read these words when life really sucks)

I'm going to copy directly from Jackie and urge you all to save some allotments:

I wouldn't normally do a petition-type post, but this caught my eye and I thought it was worth a signature or two and a bit of extra publicity.

Manor Garden Allotments Society has set up a blogexplaining all. They're in the path of the 2012 Olympics development, and so the allotments, given to the area in perpetuity over 100 years ago, will be bulldozed and flattened to make a footpath which will be used for just over 4 weeks. They've set up an e-petition here which will no doubt fall on deaf ears, but is nonetheless well worth signing. The Olympics will be great for East London. But there's no need to concrete over these little oases (there's a wildlife area which is also destined to be paved over for something or other, again completely unnecessary if you ask me) - why can't they still exist alongside the new development? Surely there must be someone working for the 2012 Olympics with a shred of imagination? Story originally found at Diamond Geezer.

Well, I've yet to tackle the recipe books (although that's something I'm aiming for tonight) but I have made two batches of ice cream - chocolate and vanilla - as well as fairly tasty chicken burgers:

get chicken, a chilli, too much garlic, a bit of ginger, some lemon juice, honey and a slice of bread
whizz in food processor (whoopee)
make burgers from gunk
cook and eat

Very nice.

If anyone has suggestions - other than meringues - from the egg whites I'm accumulating from this ice cream making, I'd be very much obliged.

The Internet is a big place, is it not?

Yet, one of the first blogs I read on this site - Cuddblog mentioned a real life person I know in the first post I read.

Another real life friend of mine - whose blog I link to Hi Mary! - has a Dad whose friend just happens to be the aforementioned Cuddblog.

And reading Ruth's blog I come across a mention to someone else who I knew for real when growing up.

So the internet is a very big place, but still not quite big enough to get lost in...

My New Bike (purchased through a rather good offer from work) is very exciting. Its silver, for first, and unlike My Old Bike it is the right size for me.

Unfortunately, it being about 15 years (and probably the rest) since I regularly used a bike, my bottom isn't really used to the whole bike seat experience. The ones at the gym are definitely comfier! Still, I made it to Waitrose and back.

But all praise to Hampshire County Council, who have made it so that going from my town to the other town is all cycle-routed, many of the cycle routes on a path entirely separate from the road. They're also building a new one which starts almost outside my house and will go to the Big Town near me. My aspiration must be that I am able to go up hills enough to be able to do this when the path is finished. The novelty of being able to go to Sainsburys (in one direction) and Waitrose (in the other) by pedal power is, at the moment, very favourable.

I should also state that the bike was purchased under the 'cycle to work' initiative, which basically means that I should use it for getting to work "for at least half of its ridden time". Which means, come the summer, I need to be able to cycle five miles in each direction (including hills). And be alive enough to work during the day...

Ahem. You read it here first.

Seen Casino Royale (excellent, and I don't usually like Bond films all that much) and Miss Potter (I can't stop thinking of Renee Zellweger as Bridge Jones, but it was very good and a lovely Sunday afternoon's viewing)
Cycled to our nearest town (and back again). This is 6.4 miles, about 4 miles further than I've done before. It's not much, but I'm proud
Made chocolate ice cream (thus negating the effects of the cycling, but at least its neutral)
Bought seeds to plant to grow into tomatoes, carrots, onions, peppers and beetroot. I don't even like beetroot!
Got exasperated at the lifestyle choices of some people.

I may blog more about some of these things: but I probably won't. But if I do, here are the prompts to remind me!

Bear with me, the K word is relevant to this post.

Its not fair. Its only January 14th and I'm on to my second major cold of the year. I might (and I've never done this before, prefering to use the 'f' word for dangerous, keep-you-in-bed-for-a-month illnesses) even venture that what I'm getting through at the moment is almost fluey, with Thursday evening-Saturday morning spent with fevers, aches, pains, coughs, and a very nasty headache. This seems to have matured to more of a nasty cold but still, uergh.

Funny thing though. I don't drink tea, coffee, or coke because I don't like them. So my caffeine intake is, I imagine, fairly low (I don't eat *that* much chocolate) which meant that the only excuse I can find for not being sleepy last night - watching a Kylie MInogue concert at midnight - was the fact that I'd been taking 'day' cold & flu tablets all day - containing caffeine. Usually, 10pm is bedtime and I'd gladly go earlier than that most nights.

Which begs the questions:

If they can do it for me, what do other people feel like EVERY DAY drinking coffee?
How much extra time would I make for myself if I did drink tea, coffee, coke or any other caffeine related product?
How much extra chocolate would I need to eat to get the desired affect?

I note that Ms Minogue has come out of some of her concerts because she too has a lurgy. Which puts me in good company, as, whilst I'd never pay money to see her perform live, she's been the soundtrack to my life. You see. I knew I'd get round to mentioning the K word twice.

(PS Get well soon, fellow sufferers!)

Been a while since I talked about God-y stuff. But Dave Walker inspired me today.

A few things recently - the terminal illness of my friend's child, other illnesses which have taken longer than they should have, and the desperate circumstances in which some people find theirselves - have made me question, once again, how we (I) relate to this God-thing. Take prayer. I can't see the all-loving God would treat one person better than an other because one had been prayed for. And I tend to think that to assume so is at best arrogance, and at least shows extreme disdain for our fellow (but unknown) people. Does a catch all prayer 'for all those who I don't know, so haven't mentioned' mean as much as half an hour's meditation on the life of x.

And yet I feel compelled to pray - or at least to 'remember' - those who "need" prayer. Those I know who are sick, who are grieving, who are facing extreme times. Many of these people I know only virtually.

But if God looks after everyone - and if prayer is only a communication channel - why is it the only thing I'm prepared to even dare to put into words of prayer - into that communication channel - at the moment are prayers of "wants".

I know that to know people are praying for you makes you feel better. I've experienced it first hand. But I can't help thinking this is psychological. A sort of 'we're in it all together and even in the midst of the bad times, you are remembered'. Doesn't make it communication with God though, does it.

Well, I liked this one Ask Oxford, just in case anyone else has ever wondered what is the third common word in the english language ending in -gry (hungry and angry being the other two).

I need to make samosas, prepare rice, prepare vegetables, and check that everything for tonight is ready. I also could do with hoovering downstairs and finishing the washing up.

Instead, I've decided to sort out the kitchen drawers.

We have at least 21 biscuit cutters, the vast majority of which are 'novelty' (i.e. not circular or square, but house, frog, easter chick, christmas tree etc. shaped)

We have three 'egg' things which I would never have thought you could buy. An egg separator, a top-the-head-of-a-boiled-egg thingie, and an egg pricker. We also have a hard/soft boiled egg timer.

We have two vegetable peelers, one 'julienne' peeler, several thousand chopsticks and three mini whisks (i.e. with a diameter of less than 2 cm. I'm not even going to think about counting how many big whisks we have).

Other things I have found

An oven thermometer
A pizza server (goes well with the two pizza slicers)
Four fondue forks
Four sweetcorn forks
Lots of random cutlery
Three packets of strepsils (three!)
Lots of drugs (strictly pharmaceutical)

On the other hand, I have not found the little piece of plastic which is vital if my ice cream maker will ever work again. I will go, look, further and procrastinate some more!

A food processor. 33% off in the sales.

What fun I can look forward to.

This sort of boils down to a new new year's resolution... that every week, I'll try out a new recipe from the plethora of cookery books I own. If I can get it so that it can use the food processor, all the better. Currently doing its stuff for the first time in my kitchen: chicken madras, and a rather hot-and-spicey mariande.

And I've written it on the internet, so it has to be true now!.